Ghost (a short story/comic script hybrid)

By: Ricardo A. Serrano Denis

So, I've decided to play around with my story and come up another version of it before finishing the original script. This is an experiment. It is a short story/comic book script hybrid and it now focuses just on one character: that of the superhero. This new approach came to me in a creative writing workshop I participated in as part of the University of Dundee's celebration of Heroes and Villains month. The workshop was handled by Professor Eddie Small, who encouraged me to keep developing my superhero character. So I did. The story now has additional narration. Every new bit of narration (which is not integrated into the page itself) can either be inserted in additional pages or put into the existing pages somehow. I also wanted to see if I could write a short story with comic book panel descriptions instead of traditional prose narration.

Ghost (a short story/comic script hybrid)

     My heroes have capes. It's probably why I chose to wear one. Throwback items put people at ease. They inspire trust a lot quicker. The same goes with names. They should be quick, simple, and easy to remember. I think I chose well. Ghost. Who wouldn't remember that?

Page 1

Full-page shot: We’re inside a small, beaten down New York City apartment looking at one of our main characters, Mitchell Veidt, a.k.a. The Ghost (he is tall, sports a short crew cut, and his body is filled with battle scars—but not exaggeratedly so). He’s in the bathroom, shaving, and has nothing on except his boxers. The shot is from inside Veidt’s bedroom, the camera set across the open bathroom door where Veidt is. The shot is wide. We can see part of Veidt’s bed and a small desk, and desk chair, next it. There’s a radio/police scanner on top of the desk, next to it is an electric alarm clock that reads 8:00am. The scanner is how our superhero knows about on-going crimes. Veidt’s superhero costume is hanging from the desk chair. It is a half-white/half-black full body spandex suit that covers everything except his mouth. A long black cape and a yellow utility belt (where he can carry small gadgets) complete the outfit. The cape is attached to the suit. If you look at Ghost from upfront it is as if you are looking at a phantasmagoric force coming out of a black hole. There are two very fine black lines outlining the character’s eyes when in costume (they are both completely white on the inside).

Ghost narration: Another cold morning. Makes it harder to get up, get ready. I just hope criminals have the same reluctance to get out of bed on cold mornings as I do.

      It is September 11th, 2001. I always make an effort to remember the actual dates that see me suited up. One must be careful not to overdo public appearances. There is a subtlety to this. You have to let yourself be seen at the right moment, bringing justice to the right crime. Overstepping on the police department’s responsibilities can work against you. People get used to you doing the saving. And they will depend on you. Not for inspiration, but for cleaning up their messes.

Page 2

Panel 1: We’re still Ghost’s apartment. This is a close up of Ghost’s alarm clock, reading 6:46am, and the radio/police scanner next to it.

Police Scanner: All units, possible hostage situation in progress, 350 5th Avenue, Empire State Building…

Panel 2: We see Veidt hunched down over the bathroom sink, cleaning his face. The shot is still from the bedroom. Ghost is getting ready to step out into the city as he listens to the radio/police radio scanner.

Police Scanner: …Suspect is white-male, armed, and dressed in a black dress suit and red cape…

Panel 3: Veidt is now grabbing his costume off the desk chair. He is going to put it on. He is still in his boxers.

Police Scanner: …suspect goes by the name of Novack. Additional information is unavailable as of this moment…

Panel 4: Veidt is sliding into the white suit. The cape is attached to the suit. It all looks very casual. His yellow utility belt is laid out on the bed, close to him. Beside the belt is a grappling gun. He uses this to get around the city and as a combat weapon.

Police Scanner: …Small group, ten to fifteen people, trapped in 80th floor…

Panel 5: Veidt is now suited up, except the mask (which is part of the suit and is hanging from the back of his neck). He has put his utility belt on as well.

Radio/Police Scanner: …Dare to Dream exhibit area. Suspect has not made contact…

Panel 6: Side-shot of Veidt pulling his mask on over his face. We see Veidt from the waist up. The mask is stretchy, so he’s pulling on the mask quite a bit as he slips it on. Obviously enough, putting on the mask is not an exact science.

Radio/Police Scanner: …Proceed with extreme caution.


     Police banter is a language in its own right. The men and women that speak it, though, get used to its ironies after a while. “Set up a perimeter” seems to mean “stand around and do nothing.” “Apprehend the suspect” turns into “why don’t you give catching the bad guy a try?” It is as if doing so is more a chore than an actual responsibility. When they hear “Proceed with caution” coupled with “suspect has a bomb strapped to his chest” they produce a smile. It might as well mean “let better equipped people handle this.” But it shouldn’t be like that. I take police talk very seriously…

Page 3

      …it’s when I know I’m needed the most.

Panel 1: Wide-shot of Ghost stepping out of his apartment through his bedroom window, pointing his grappling gun to the edge of another building. The outside of the apartment building is all brick. So we really just see a couple of windows in sequence and Ghost coming out from the window that’s in the exact middle of the panel. He has his grappling gun ready. His grappling gun shoots a line he can swing from. He can also retract the line so he can continue swinging in midair if he wants.

Ghost narration: There was a small life-style piece on The Times last week, asking people how I should be referred to. “What is The Ghost to New York City?” it read.

Panel 2: Side-shot of Ghost shooting the grappling gun towards the edge of the building next to his. He’s still halfway out the window. We see the line from the grappling gun has dug itself into the edge of the next building, leading to the rooftop.

Ghost narration: ‘Concerned citizen’ was option A. A safe response if you ask me.

Panel 3: Now we see Ghost being pulled by the grappling gun up to the edge.

Ghost narration: Option B was more interesting, ‘a reflection of itself.’ Not sure how many people caught it, though.

Panel 4: Shot of Ghost jumping over the edge of the next building. He is going to land on the rooftop.

Ghost narration: ‘Nut-job’ was option D, just below C, ‘Vigilante.’ ‘Hero,’ on the other hand, wasn’t in the running. The omission felt too deliberate.

Panel 5: Shot of Ghost walking across the rooftop.

Ghost narration: As if thinking that would imply quite a stretch of reality. Not that I care about these things. An identity is nothing if you don’t build it yourself, regardless of what people end up knowing you for.

Page 4

      I arrive at the scene just in time. My public appearance is already expected. But I’m holding back for just a while longer. Again, subtlety. This is why I stick to rooftops. People sometimes forget to look up. I wonder if it scares them to do so. Skyscrapers can be overwhelming.

Panel 1: This a big shot of the Empire State Building. We can see it from top to bottom. There are police cars in the bottom. It is an establishing shot of sorts but it is also there to convey a sense of enormity, of how huge the building actually is.

Panel 2: We see Ghost standing on top of another building looking to the Empire State Building. There is one building between him and the Empire State.

Panel 3: Side-shot is of Ghost jumping from one building to another.

Panel 4: Another Side-shot of Ghost running with his grappling aimed at the building across from him, the Empire State Building.

Panel 5: Ghost is swinging in midair to the Empire State Building. We are looking at Ghost from a street level perspective. We can see both cops and civilians looking and pointing at Ghost as he swings in midair.

Random Civilian: Is that Ghost?

Random Cop: If anyone gets killed in there, it’s on him.

Random Civilian: At least somebody’s doing something.

Page 5

      I decide to break into one of the lower floors and take the elevator up. I expect Novack is waiting for me, not having hurt any of the hostages. This is quite simply his calling card…one I’m inclined to answer.

Panel 1: Ghost is entering the building through a smashed window. There is an elevator close by.

Panel 2: Close-up of Ghost's finger pushing the Up button for the elevator.

Panel 3: We see Ghost inside the elevator. He’s going up and he looks confident.

Panel 4: This shot focuses on the elevator’s floor numbers. There is a small digital screen displaying the floor numbers. The screen reads 79 but is already transitioning into 80. Ghost is reaching his destination.

Panel 5: Ghost gets to the 80th floor. This is a front shot of Ghost, sporting a very confident grin. He has arrived to save the day and it looks like there is very little that can go wrong here.

Ghost: Novack.

Page 6

Full-page shot: Big reveal of Novack, in a clean, almost shiny, black dress suit and red cape. The dress suit makes him look distinguished, like a 1940s villain. He is an eye patch away from being a cartoon. But he is no cartoon. He is real and he is pointing a 9mm handgun to a small girl with an I Love NYC t-shirt. Behind her we can make out the rest of the hostages, all kneeling down farther behind Novack.

Novack: I expected you sooner. My trigger finger was barely holding up against the suspense. I guess I have a better target now.

      Novack goes over his lines as if they were rehearsed months in advance. He doesn’t miss a beat. He’s actually relieved once he sees me. It could easily have been a SWAT team getting off the elevator.

Page 7

The rest happens in slow motion. He raises his gun at me. I reach down into my utility belt and grab a smoke pellet. I’m faster. The smoke pellet explodes before he gets off the first shot. He’s disoriented, angry but not surprised. He knows this meet will be a short one.

Panel 1: Ghost moves through the smoke. He’s moving to the side of Novack. Novack is just shooting into the smoke. The black cape really contrasts with the grey of the smoke here.

Panel 2: We see Novack stepping back, still shooting at the smoke.

Panel 3: We now move into a side-shot of Novack walking back, into Ghost. Ghost looks so much bigger than Novack. It makes the whole encounter seem unfair for our villain.

Panel 4: Ghost grabs Novack by his suit and is lifting him up.

Ghost: I expected more. And to think I dressed up for—

SFX: BOOM!!!

      The sound, far away but close enough to know something happened inside the city.

Page 8

      I never realized that the Empire State Building had a great view of the Twin Towers. Not that I’ll ever forget that now.

Panel 1: We see Ghost looking through the window into the distance, where the first of the Twin Towers was up in smoke. Novack is looking to the Tower as well. Ghost is still grabbing Novack.

Panel 2: Now we come to a front shot of Ghost and Novack still looking at the Towers. They are both in shock. Something went off script. Ghost doesn’t let go of Novack.

Panel 3: Same as panel 2. Ghost finally speaks.

Ghost: What did you do!?

Novack: What? I didn’t—

Panel 4: Close-up of Ghost’s face. He is beyond angry.

Ghost: WHAT DID YOU DO!!!

Panel 5: An extreme close-up of Novack’s eyes. They only say one thing: fear.

     I'm not proud of what came next.

Page 9

Panel 1: The smoke from Ghost’s smoke pellet has spread around the room. So we will only see Novack and Ghost in silhouettes. Ghost is about to punch Novack and he looks like he is not going to pull his punches. We only see his fist, though. Ghost’s punch is going up, as if he’s gathering strength to hit even harder.

Ghost: Novack!

Panel 2: Single shot of Ghost’s punch hitting Novack’s face.

Novack: No, Plea--

Panel 3: Ghost pulls up his punch again. We see Novack putting his arm up, trying to stop the attack.

Novack: Please! This wasn’t—

Panel 4: Another punch lands in Novack’s gut.

Panel 5: Now we see Ghost preparing to head-butt Novack.

Novack: I didn’t—

Panel 6: Ghost’s head collides with Novack’s. We can see specks of blood flying off from the impact, all silhouetted.

Panel 7: Ghost is standing over Novack. Novack is spread out on the floor, his cape a tangled mess. His face is bloody. Very bloody.

Ghost: Why? How did--

Panel 8: Ghost looks at his hands. They are full of Novack’s blood. We can still see Novack on the floor, crawling away from Ghost.

      There is a thing with costumes. They don’t hold up against failure. They actually make it all look like a bad joke…

Page 10

…a bad joke with you as the punchline.

Panel 1: The smoke has cleared and we see Ghost still standing over Novack. We now see Novack’s blood on Ghost, taking over the white parts of his costume. Behind Ghost, the hostages are looking outside the windows, looking at the burning Tower.

Panel 2: Ghost looks back, sees the hostages have forgotten the reason why they were trapped here in the first place. The new event is everything.

Panel 3: Ghost walks over to a window.

Panel 4: This is a front shot of Ghost looking towards the Towers. Novack is getting up behind him.

Panel 4: Side-shot of Novack and Ghost both looking to the Towers.

Novack: I didn’t do that. I didn’t. I—

Panel 5: Ghost looks on, not paying attention to Novack.

Ghost: Please, just go away.

      By then the only thing left to do was to go back home, watch the rest on TV. I like to think Novack did the same. Funny. I thought he would’ve enjoyed it more, seeing the city suffer. Maybe break into maniacal laughter, shoot a quick one-liner to add to the sting. But he didn’t. I don’t know which is more troubling: the fact that he didn’t enjoy it, or that I didn’t give him the chance to.

Page 11

Panel 1:Side-shot of Novack sitting down against a wall with his lowered. He is grabbing his abdomen in pain. He's recovering from Ghost's beating but also wrapping his head around the thing that's just happened.

Panel 2: Same image but with Ghost halfway back to the elevator. Again, both panel 1 and panel 2 are side-shots that bring to mind old-school side-scrolling video games. The hostages are still looking outside the window. A few of them are talking on their cellphones.

Page 12

Panel 1: Close up of Ghost's finger pushing the Down button for the elevator.

Panel 2: The camera is looking from inside the elevator. We see Ghost walking in. Novack is still sitting down and the hostages are still at the windows.

Panel 3: Front-shot of Ghost inside the elevator. The elevator doors are closing. As the elevator doors close he knows his day is done.

Panel 4: Shot of the closed elevator doors. The second plane has not yet hit.

END